(( Contains spoilers from Grimm. I just couldn’t resist checking in with my cellist from Portland))
I shouldn’t go in. I’m not even sure they’ll let me in. I haven’t bathed in days. I never realized fading away would be so stinky. I want to fade away, but I’m not ready to let go. If I could live as ones as zeros I would. Code makes sense in a way other things don’t. Everything is easier online.
Dear @IronLadyStark,
I realize this letter is long overdue. My mind has been fairly scrambled lately, but that’s no excuse. I’ve never forgotten you, even if I have been too much of a coward to contact you. But now I have nothing left to lose.
@IronMan_Stark_,
I’m not used to writing letters like this. Most letters I write are budget letters, or cover stories, or letters of condolences. This is… I’m not sure what this is. This isn’t me asking for your forgiveness. This isn’t me explaining my actions. This is me returning your cellphone. You’ll find it enclosed. This is me saying sorry.
Quo Vadis?
I stare down at the dead cellphone in my hand. I need to return it to Stark as soon as possible, before I break it. I’m not allowed nice things because I just get them broken. I’m not allowed to be around nice people, because I just get them broken. I need to go somewhere I can help people, and not hurt them.
I’m running through the forest, running for my life but the creatures catches up with me, tearing off my clothes and forcing me to watch. I keep my eyes closed but I can feel the cold wind cooling my blood, drying it against scarred flesh. I don’t want to see, but I can’t keep blindly running. I try, and I fall. I keep falling, down, down, down until…
My biggest fear is that eventually you will see me the way I see myself.
(Source: xrvchel, via billiondollarsuperhero)
I stumble through the woods, my shirt drenched with blood and sweat. Now that I know about the claw marks in my back, I can feel every slice, the blood oozing out from my torn stitches but I can’t let that stop me. I have to keep running, I have to stop her. I can’t let anybody else get hurt because of me.
((Triggers for symbolic child murder, mentions of rape, but most of all, there’s a pretty big Iron Man 3 spoiler which I’m still pissed at him about. Tony Stark remains a hot mess whilst Phil is just a mess. When Tony Stark seems better adjusted than your character, you know you have issues. Eep!))
I’m always running. I’ve been running forever. Running to a situation; patching it up, and then moving onto the next job. Except I keep getting called to new jobs before I’ve finished, and when I get to go back, if I ever get to go back, it’s all in ruins, bodies scattered amongst the debris, blood mixed with dust until everything is just gray. Or there’s no proof anything ever existed there at all.
Stark and Pepper are too busy to notice I’m gone, but when they do, I’m sure they’ll see they’re better off without me. They have to see that, right? They don’t need me, so I need to find somewhere I am needed.
